I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
