i barfeds in our rink
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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