sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
