My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
