It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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