you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
