I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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