She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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