We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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