I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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