Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
