and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
