i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
