That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
