I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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