All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
