I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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