If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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