just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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