That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i need an iv and a liver transplant
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
