If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My dick has a subreddit
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
