My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
