What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
