I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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