It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want nice things and good sex
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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