Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think i have two assholes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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