Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
