Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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