Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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