so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
