giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just invented taco cereal.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
