You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize