Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We left the knife in your bed.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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