Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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