are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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