Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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