so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im holly from the hills drunk
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
