Sry I called you an 8
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
