your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize