we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
