Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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