If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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