Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
