we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize