Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
