can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
