maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
