I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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