so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
