We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I touched a dick in church today
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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