I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
