The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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