i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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