You made me cry and you don't even care
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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